Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Judgement Bar: The Glare of Doom

So today started out like any other morning except this bright, big, runny eye ball attached to my 5 year old daughter. As I'm running out the door, I lean in and give her a kiss and tell her ill call the doctor to make her an appointment for later. No big deal, right? At least that's what I thought this morning.

I get to work and made her am appointment for 4:30 this afternoon, thinking maybe my husband could get off a bit early and take her. What I had forgotten was that he had training and that there was no way he was going to be able to do that. Again, no big deal, I'll take her while my mom is still watching my other two. Then work happens. I call and cancel the appointment and set it up for tomorrow morning thinking, "I'm sure it's not that bad, she can make it through the night." Wrong. I get home and her poor eye is so gooey and gunky and red I have to get her to the doctor. Thankfully urgent care is open. Mom has to leave and husband is stuck at work, so I load up my 5, 3, and 1 yr olds and hop into the van. Desperately praying that I survive this trip.

We get loaded up and to the doctors with no hassle. Get inside, get checked in, and the front desk lady asks me if I can "update" the form they keep on file for my daughter. Absolutely, not a problem...so long as you don't mind 3 crazy children running around your waiting room while I'm nose deep into paperwork because there are no toys and the TV you usually have playing cartoons is turned off. I'll get right to that paperwork for you. And it begins.

J, my 2 year old son, won't sit down. Actually, he'd much rather stand. Not on floor, but in the chair or on the table. C, my 1 year old daughter, is infatuated with the fish, but would also like to take a quick stroll down the back hallway while I've got my nose into this paperwork that just desperately needs to be filled out. M, the 5 year old daughter and my oldest, is moaning about how she doesn't feel good in the chair next to me while trying to "mommy" her siblings. That's when it starts. The glare of doom. The judgement. The "hey woman why the hell don't you control your kids?" look. Well, ma'am, if you would've just listened to me when I told you nothing had changed on the paperwork, I wouldn't have to be filling this out right now and could corral my children. I'm sorry that they're offending you, but I came fully prepared to keep them contained until I was asked to do this paperwork.

The behavior in the waiting room set the tone for the rest of my trip. We get called back to the patients rooms. All is well, until M is asked to get up on the table. Of course J wants up too, and now C can't resist climbing the step stool either. It's so big, and black, and shiny, and oooo I can hurt myself if I fall off it! Let's climb it! Makes perfect sense! So the nurse starts doing the Glare of Doom. GREAT! Twice in 10 minutes, not a new record, but close. I pick up C and try to use my calm mommy voice to get J down when the nurse does what I call "helicopter mommy wannabe" and tries to get him down too. Trust me lady, I'm a bit overwhelmed, but I can get my kiddo of the stool, promise.

And then the doctor comes in. I had just kept C from falling off the chair as she opens the door. Apparently while my back was turned J had climbed back on the stool and was now playing with the ear things (yes I am aware they have names it's just 11pm and I'm too tired to google it). So I get the Glare of Doom #3. I'm on a streak. We have to pin down M to put some eye drops in and as we turn around doc goes, "Baby took her diaper off, oh no!" Yea, thanks doc. Meanwhile J was back playing with the ear thing. Insert Glare of Doom #4.

The Glare of Doom is nothing new to me. I'm quite used to it actually. Normally it's given by new mothers or non-mothers. Occasionally the "hoity-toity" moms too. It's that glare you get when you can't control your kid, amongst other things. The "I'm silently judging you for all you do" glare. Well guess what receptionist, nurse, and doctor. I hope someone gives you that glare someday. Because it sucks. You go home feeling like you've failed as a mother and as a woman. But guess what! I didn't tonight because I know I survived going to the doctors alone with three children. And that's a darned good accomplishment.

Maybe next time you want to give the Glare of Doom you should reach out a helping hand or an apologetic smile instead. Life needs more of those. As for me,  I'll just keep my head held high and focus on the little achievements in life, because man they feel good.

1 comment:

  1. i am oh so guilty of the glare of doom. i will keep this in mind next time i fix my eyes to give it.

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